Love Relationship

Love Relationship's on the spiritual path are mostly karmic bonds


Spirituality of Love Relationship’s – Life is about forming many love relationship’s, beginning with pacts or contracts between souls; karmic bonds with our parents enabling us to be born, karmic debts and lessons with family and soul mates, love given by animals and nature and finally the ultimate relationship with ourselves in union with the divine.

When speaking of spiritual relationships we often jump to soul mates or our perfect partner (the other half of us) which completes us. But, that is jumping the gun a bit…especially given no such thing exists (well, not just one soul mate); it cannot because our individual soul has never been split. (The almighty, the super single soul, using the illusion of separation did split to create us, the individual soul; but our individual soul has not been split further)

 To explain what a love relationship is, we need to go right back to the beginning of creation.


Contract made between souls

Let’s look at a simplified but extreme example to make understanding a little easier. A couple, named wife and husband. This couple has violent fights, one beating the other and almost no harmony in the household. Husband is trying to find God, wife stops him at every step. Normally, we would recommend marriage councillors or divorce for this couple as the emotional pain would be unbearable, but since we are spiritual, we are going to look at this differently.

Once a friend of Leo Tolstoy asked him why he puts up with his wife (he was having similar issues), he said in a previous life he did just that, left. And now it’s worse. So he just puts up with it to end the cycle.

Back to the story, husband is at wit’s end. He is on his knees, praying to every God, master and deity under the sun, and as he gets out of the prayer wife comes and belts him. He knows the theory, we all have God within, so thinks of her as a goddess turned devil, but the fights continue.

So what’s going on? Why isn’t he getting any help? Well…maybe he is…let’s continue the saga.

Husband wants out, and now starts to really go within. He meditates in the toilet or at work where he has some peace; he goes on retreats and starts to see things differently. He can see clearly there was never any love, they were never perfect ‘meant to be’ partners. She is just the tool of the negative force, an enemy in a past life he has karma with. Now depression starts, he starts to constantly ask why. Complaining about his life and about her. After a while he settles, and does another retreat.

Now the theory is beginning to sink in, with visions or intuitive feeling picked up in the astral plane, he is starting to take responsibility for his life. He now realizes that due to his past life actions against his wife, she was born to return his bad actions – an eye for an eye! He feels sorry for her because of what he did past life, next he starts to buy flowers for her and sweet talk her a bit. The hatred he had is starting to wane, changed to more like pity and regret. His wants forgiveness for his past, he wants to make up for his mistakes. He wants to change and be reborn anew.

It makes little difference, she still behaves the same. She can smell something different, but does not believe him. He tries to practice, she stops him.

He doesn’t stop; he knows the old way was not working so persists. See can see a little light at the end of the tunnel. Prayers still not working or it seems. He goes on another retreat, even though the consequences from wife, upon his return causes great pain. This time during his visions, he reaches the causal plane of existence, the level of karma. In the akashic records, he can see exactly who he was and what he did to wife. He now feels genuine remorse, and wishes to repent for the harm he has caused another being. This is not like before, it has penetrated his being, every cell of his body knows it – not just the mind understanding the theory.

Husband returns home, starts to smile to wife and a divine light sparkling in his eyes. Wife feels it, but due to habit continues her bad behavior – perhaps not so bad anymore.

He continues with his spiritual practice, this time with much love in his heart for her, for what she has had to endure due to his bad behavior. He now knows she is not the devil, he is or was. She is simply a goddess, a real one, so he begins to treat like that. He knows everyone on Earth are actually angels here to bless us in some way.

She now starts to change, not because he forced her but because he is changing so much; mostly within. His outer world has no change, all the change is in his consciousness, his level of understanding. He has more light, her soul can see it even though she cannot.

He goes on another retreat, goes above the causal plane to where the universe was created. He now sees things differently. Neither he nor her are devils, both are pure divine souls, made human. Both have been given a journey to take, incarnating life after life for a special mission – to glorify God. He is humbled, truly humbled and is in eternal gratitude to her, to all, to creation and God. He now accepts his karma, his life. He loves it as it is, warts and all. Life is now good for him, still has family issues but he has found inner peace.

He goes on another retreat, goes even higher to the soul level. Bingo! He has become enlightened, somewhat. He can now see the purpose of creation, the meaning of life. He can see no male, no females, only God divided into small bits, called souls – formless. But they are not divided more like drops of water in the ocean. He sees the real meaning of karma, it’s not real; no such thing.  What is real is the love God has for the children of God (us). He, as a soul, wanted to understand something by experiencing it in a physical way. The soul wanted to feel the sensation, and pass it on to God. He needed help to achieve this, so obviously God helped God. Other souls jumped at the chance to help, one of those souls was born as wife in this life.

Now he begins to cry, the emotion, the deep love he has for God and her is too much to handle. The heavenly bliss just overflows, his heart expands to encompass the entire universe. He has learnt his lesson, he has grown, he has re-membered. He returns home, wife now really smells something different. Over a short period of time, she changes and no longer stops him practising. She supports him and the family becomes harmonious.

So did the prayers work; obviously yes. Not the way husband thought, but in a more perfect way. Originally he prayed for her to change, but he was the one who had to change. When he did, she no longer had any karma with him. He has passed his lesson, so the karma is erased. He freed her from the retribution with his spiritual practice, his merit. Because the karma was erased, she no longer had to behave that way towards him.

This is the essence of spiritual practice…introspection. Go within to see and rectify our own faults instead of judging others. Let love heal all wounds and conquer the most difficult hearts. Habit takes time to change, don’t expect overnight results, but if its a love relationship you want then be prepared to change yourself for it.

It is also the essence of having a good love relationship, to accept the good with the bad and change ourselves for the ones we love.

We choose our parents

It’s quite common now for people to know that they in fact choose their parents and time of birth. It seems bizarre really, since we are not around during copulation but nothing in life happens without God knowing. Nothing is by chance, it’s all part of God’s will, of destiny. We make the choice based on what we want to achieve in life and how much affinity/debt or karma we have with the prospective parents.


We must have karma with our parents before we can be born. Perhaps we were their parents or they have some debt to us. Rarely it’s because of a pure loving friendship, mostly its due to some debt. That’s why even in the family we have war, in many cases children are more evil towards their parents that non-family. They inflict great pain on the parents.

Family is strongly emphasized in religions and modern society, but many masters tell their disciples to avoid the ties due to the karmic bonds. Jesus said to his disciples they must be willing to leave all (“If any man come to me, and hate not his father and mother, and wife, and children, brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”)  He also said he only keeps the company of brethren, fellow believers walking on the same road.

Without families, the human species would fade and life would be miserable. Families are essential for support, but that support can also slow us down. Breastfeeding a newborn is essential, but is not beneficial for a 10-year-old. As we grow spiritually, we naturally put things down without being forced. It just happens, and how it manifest varies for each person.

In the olden days, practitioners use to run into caves or the mountains and live alone to avoid karmic retribution with others, to stay as pure as possible. But this is not possible these days, and God does not want us to. We don’t have to leave the family, just leave the attachment, the concepts, the restrictions and the physical needs. We must expand our family to include all of creation; that’s one of the main reasons.

Time of birth

We choose our time based on what karma we have with others. For example, if we need to work like a dog and with great detail, or perhaps to be arrogant and angry making more enemies than friends, then we choose a time that enhances those characteristics; we call that horoscopes, zodiac, star signs, etc. The most accurate being Vedic & Chinese astrology.